When to move on in life (Food for Thought)

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Put a frog into a vessel fill with water and start heating the water.
As the temperature of the water begins to rise, the frog adjust its body temperature accordingly.
The frog keeps adjusting its body temperature with the increasing temperature of the water. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog cannot adjust anymore. At this point the frog decides to jump out.
The frog tries to jump but it is unable to do so because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature.
Very soon the frog dies.
What killed the frog?
Think about it!
I know many of us will say the boiling water. But the truth about what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when to jump out.
We all need to adjust with people & situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust & when we need to move on. There are times when we need to face the situation and take appropriate actions.
If we allow people to exploit us
physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally they will continue to do so.
Let us decide when to jump!
Let’s jump while we still have the strength.

7 Ways You Can Be A Better Partner

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If you have found the man or woman of your dreams, then it is perfectly normal for you to want to become a better partner – in the end, the most difficult thing isn’t to find somebody you are compatible with, but to keep the “passion flame” burning over the years. Unfortunately, many couples fail to do that, and this happens mainly due to the lack of communication. If you want to become a better partner, this means you appreciate the presence of your significant other and you do not want to lose him or her. Having said that, here are 7 ways you can be a better partner:

1. Never Rush Things

This is a common issue that can make a relationship fail even before it starts. While it is true that you must show your significant other love and compassion, you must also make sure to give him enough space and to avoid choking him with love. Remember, when you make yourself too available, the other one may simply lose interest.

It is important to let things flow – do not force things, to not be pushy and do not stress him or her with your constant wish of having somebody to keep you warm at night. If it is meant to happen, it certainly will. Be natural, be yourself and go with the flow!

2. Be An Optimist – People Love Positive Mindsets!

Nobody likes a pessimist or somebody with a dark, negative mind. If this is your case as well, then try to change your attitude – everything starts from your mindset. If you are a negative person you are prone to criticism and constant attack, and your boyfriend/girlfriend will eventually get tired of that.

On the other hand, if you are mature, positive and optimist and you make jokes and laugh a lot, the other one will certainly not get bored of you in the near future. The secret is to make your significant other want to spend more time around you. This is what lies at the foundation of a solid, love-filled and durable relationship or marriage. Also, don’t forget about the inside jokes that are the salt and pepper of every successful relationship!

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3. Stay On The Honest Side

Lack of honesty is undoubtedly one of the most common causes of divorces and break ups nowadays, this is why you must stay honest no matter what. There’s an old saying that goes like this “If you admit your mistake, it is half forgiven already”. In the end, keep in mind that it is a lot better if your better half finds out something directly from you, than from a “third party”. Stay true to who you are, and never forget that it is not shameful to apologize when you do something wrong! Stay honest, because regaining one’s trust once you lost it is one of the most difficult things in life.

4. Stay Attractive

Another common mistake many people tend to do when they enter a relationship or get married is that they simply stop paying attention to themselves: men stop going to the gym to look good, while women stop going to the salon because their significant other loves them just the way they are.

This is perfectly true, but at the same time it is essential to stay attractive to the other one. There is nothing wrong with being seductive every once in a while, and this applies both to men and to women – besides, you will be amazed to see how good this can make you feel and how much it will help your self-esteem!

5. Understand Each Other’s Need For Space

Last, but not least, it is important to understand that even if you two live under the same roof, every human being feels the need to be autonomous. This need does not refer only to spending some time alone, but also to the freedom of choice every individual needs when it comes to making personal decisions.

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6. Share Common Interests

Common interests are the “glue” of your relationship, they keep you together – the more interests you share, the better. However, if you have only a few things in common, you do not need to struggle to like your loved one’s passions or hobbies – all you need to do is to show some respect and understanding.

Does he love computer games? That is perfect, as long as he does not spend hours in front of the computer. Does she love shopping? That’s perfect as well, as long as she is a loving, caring girlfriend who understands your passions. Relationships are all about compromise, never forget that!

7. Communication Is The Key!

Communication is absolutely vital for the success of every relationship or marriage – after all, if you are unable to discuss with the one you share your bed with, with whom are you supposed to talk then? Keep an open mind and show availability when it comes to approaching a variety of topics – don’t be afraid to talk about intimate things as well.

MY FRIEND

“The silence slices through my soul with surgical precision and leaves me full of doubts and fears and painful indecision. I cannot read between the lines but sense that something’s wrong I really need to feel you near back here where you belong. My heart measures our distance with strength and depth of ache your absence slowly killing me I pray the strings don’t break. Yet here I sit and wait for you to find your way back home to complete the heart that beats for you, I’m nothing, on my own.”

A Loving Heart

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What is love? Are there dif­fer­ent types of love?  Love impacts dif­fer­ent depths of our hearts. Love for cer­tain foods or deserts. Can this be love? Love can be feel­ings of com­pan­ion­ship and inti­macy. There are many depths of love we expe­ri­ence. Sim­ple joy­ful love of cer­tain foods, music, nature, etc. The most desired heart feel­ings are love and inti­macy. Many of you are now ques­tion­ing why can’t I have these desired heart-felt feelings.Perhaps you are ques­tion­ing if some­one clos­est to you really loves or loved you.  Pas­sions in life derive from desires of love. How can feel­ings so deep-rooted in our hearts be described lit­er­ally? Well let’s attempt to touch the sur­face and get the thought process going……………….

  • Ages 1-5   We are able to feel/experience emo­tions but lack rea­son­ing abil­ity to ana­lyze emo­tions or con­se­quences of our emotions
  • Ages 6-12  These years pass with a blink of our eyes.  These are the ages we tend to idol­ize our par­ents or idol­ize friends par­ents or rela­tion­ships.  We seek accep­tance from our imme­di­ate fam­ily.  We seek honor, love, com­pas­sion and wor­thi­ness.  Yes we seek these all our lives but our most vul­ner­a­ble years are dur­ing this time and it can define our val­ues later in life or hin­der the val­ues we so des­per­ately seek.  Puberty, hor­monal changes and self-image come into play as we try to find our­selves through these changes.  Imag­ine if we don’t feel accepted by our fam­ily or have endured pain or abuse from our fam­ily how dev­as­tated we can become at this age!
  • Ages 13-16  Dur­ing these years we are very ana­lyt­i­cal and over ratio­nal­ize and ana­lyze events that have taken place or cur­rent events.  We may idol­ize “John” or “Sue” and want to “fit in” with peers and be accepted.  Social pres­sures in school, peer pres­sure, sex­ual exper­i­men­ta­tion, alco­hol, recre­ational drugs and all other social pres­sures become preva­lent.  We are try­ing to find our own iden­ti­ties and peer pres­sures and social pres­sures are over­whelm­ing.  Should any major life issues, abuse or chal­lenges occur we tend to turn to the social accep­tances even eas­ier.  These social pres­sures such as drugs, alco­hol and sex mask our prob­lems and tend to cre­ate more problems.
  • Ages 17-18  We tend to think we know every­thing.  We ques­tion those with author­ity.  We think we are adults or become rebellious.

Not every child will fall into these exact exam­ples but you may under­stand how impres­sion­able we are dur­ing dif­fer­ent age brack­ets and how will­ing we are towards expand­ing our thought processes.  Now imag­ine if you came from a sin­gle par­ent envi­ron­ment, abu­sive home, bul­lied in school or your first sex­ual expe­ri­ence left emo­tional scares and wounds. How does your age affect and influ­ence your pas­sions and desires from the heart and what love means to you.  As we grow our val­ues, thoughts and desires change so does our mean­ing and desires for love.  Per­haps this is why when we become vic­tims dur­ing these ages we build walls around our hearts to pro­tect these painful and hurt feel­ings.  When we build these walls at such a young age when our minds and hearts are most recep­tive we become all the more vic­tims of our­selves as we har­bor and man­i­fest these painful feel­ings over many years.  Some peo­ple still har­bor these pains, per­haps out of shame, guilt or feel­ings of being inad­e­quate.  What have we really done by per­form­ing emo­tional feel­ings?  We have takenown­er­ship and become con­sumed by these feel­ings.  How can you truth­fully take own­er­ship for pain some­one has inflicted upon you, you didn’t do the actions or events nor were you deserv­ing of these events. I am not say­ing it is wrong to have feel­ings but our abil­ity to ana­lyze and process these feel­ings and abu­sive events is severely jeop­ar­dized by our emo­tions and thought processes dur­ing dif­fer­ent age brack­ets. Stay tuned…..