Ignoring Your Inner Voice

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In traffic, we come across signs every single day. Sometimes we pay attention and sometimes we don’t. To some of us, the big red sign with the letters, S T O P is a stop sign. For others, it is a “slow down” sign. “No U turn” can be interpreted as “No U turn when you see the cops.” And 60 miles an hour can mean anything from 65 -90, depending on who you talk to.

Every single morning, the right side of my car almost gets taken off by drivers who interpret the sign telling them to “yield” as a green light. It’s huge, it’s red, and it even accompanies another small yellow sign next to it that says, “No merge area.” Still, most drivers pay absolutely no attention to the sign. And every other week, I drive past an accident.

Traffic signs are no different from the signs we see in relationships. We choose to see them or not see them. And they are all open to interpretation. Some signs are subtle and can be explained away. They show up like a sun shower in July and then disappear. Others are not so subtle. They resemble wrinkles on our finger tips from staying in a relationship too long. They can be loud and glaring and yet we can still tell ourselves to ignore them or make them into something they are not.

Our conscience is our brain’s way of trying to lead us in the right direction. Sinking feelings, nerves, anxiety… those are all a way for your sixth sense to quietly tap you on the shoulder and whisper in your ear, “Something doesn’t feel right.”

Unfortunately, most of us try our best to ignore our inner voice in relationships. There are hundreds of ways that we do that; Keeping ourselves busy with work, pouring ourselves into our children, straying away or cutting off friends and family, going out, substance abuse, taking up hobbies…anything and everything to prevent our brains from having a quiet moment to breathe and consider possibilities. As long as we can cloud our inner voice or keep it busy, then we won’t have to listen to it….or so we think.

Listening to your inner voice is the key to finding happiness. When you ignore it, you suppress not only your “Something doesn’t feel right” voice, but you also suppress inner peace, happiness, and comfort. You exchange all of that for temporary peace and temporary happiness that comes to you in small doses. What ‘doesn’t feel right’ still catches up to you, whether it is in your dreams, through the voices of your children, friends, or family, or in the moments when you are sitting in the same room as your significant other and still feel lonely.

Take a moment, breathe, and listen to your voice. You can’t ever outrun her/him. You can only try.

 

Have you ever ignored your inner voice? Tell me about it.

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How To Be Good At Life

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The definitive collection

Being good at life is simple. Follow these tips and you too can enjoy a happier more fulfilled life.

  1. Stand up for something.
  2. Remember family comes first.
  3. Know that you are not your job.
  4. Find a mentor.
  5. Mentor someone.
  6. Slow down and take it all in.
  7. Don’t be afraid to let loose.
  8. Let people know you (and if they don’t like you — it’s their loss.)
  9. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  10. Make mistakes. Learn from them and do things better.
  11. Realize that you do not have all the answers.
  12. Treat people with respect.
  13. Say Thank You along the way.
  14. Have some fun.
  15. Keep breathing.

The Value of Beauty

Beauty is the most important thing to strive for in all that you create.

Beauty is not just about how something looks from the outside. It’s not just a mask around the functional parts of what you build. Beauty exists at every level and in every capacity. A creation is only a collection of its parts, and if enough of those parts are inferior, the whole thing can never truly be beautiful.

Beauty is consistently formatted code. Debating the name of an internal tool. Drawing wireframes people can make sense of. Organizing your layers in Photoshop. Laboring over the wording of a blog post. Aligning all the screws on the back of a fence. Carefully painting a wall to avoid marring the brick next to it.

Nothing is too small or too insignificant to be made beautiful.

When you’re a carpenter making a beautiful chest of drawers, you’re not going to use a piece of plywood on the back, even though it faces the wall and nobody will ever see it. You’ll know it’s there, so you’re going to use a beautiful piece of wood on the back. For you to sleep well at night, the aesthetic, the quality, has to be carried all the way through.

— Steve Jobs

Beauty begets quality and should be considered every step of the way. It enables quick iteration and collaboration, and defines the quality of work surrounding it. By investing time in getting things right from the start, you make it easier for yourself and others to improve upon and interact with your work. Properly formatted code will still make sense years later. Organized Photoshop layers help others understand your designs.

A line of code here. A pixel or two there. It might feel like sweating all these small details will slow you down, but with practice it will become habitual. Invariably you’ll hit a tight deadline and may have to skip some things. The goal is to stop seeing these details as trivial and instead as a natural part of the process.

Avoid making small details into bigger problems later; the granular stuff will be hard to justify fixing once you’ve moved on to other things. Instead, strive for beauty from the very beginning.