What is love? Are there different types of love? Love impacts different depths of our hearts. Love for certain foods or deserts. Can this be love? Love can be feelings of companionship and intimacy. There are many depths of love we experience. Simple joyful love of certain foods, music, nature, etc. The most desired heart feelings are love and intimacy. Many of you are now questioning why can’t I have these desired heart-felt feelings.Perhaps you are questioning if someone closest to you really loves or loved you. Passions in life derive from desires of love. How can feelings so deep-rooted in our hearts be described literally? Well let’s attempt to touch the surface and get the thought process going……………….
- Ages 1-5 We are able to feel/experience emotions but lack reasoning ability to analyze emotions or consequences of our emotions
- Ages 6-12 These years pass with a blink of our eyes. These are the ages we tend to idolize our parents or idolize friends parents or relationships. We seek acceptance from our immediate family. We seek honor, love, compassion and worthiness. Yes we seek these all our lives but our most vulnerable years are during this time and it can define our values later in life or hinder the values we so desperately seek. Puberty, hormonal changes and self-image come into play as we try to find ourselves through these changes. Imagine if we don’t feel accepted by our family or have endured pain or abuse from our family how devastated we can become at this age!
- Ages 13-16 During these years we are very analytical and over rationalize and analyze events that have taken place or current events. We may idolize “John” or “Sue” and want to “fit in” with peers and be accepted. Social pressures in school, peer pressure, sexual experimentation, alcohol, recreational drugs and all other social pressures become prevalent. We are trying to find our own identities and peer pressures and social pressures are overwhelming. Should any major life issues, abuse or challenges occur we tend to turn to the social acceptances even easier. These social pressures such as drugs, alcohol and sex mask our problems and tend to create more problems.
- Ages 17-18 We tend to think we know everything. We question those with authority. We think we are adults or become rebellious.
Not every child will fall into these exact examples but you may understand how impressionable we are during different age brackets and how willing we are towards expanding our thought processes. Now imagine if you came from a single parent environment, abusive home, bullied in school or your first sexual experience left emotional scares and wounds. How does your age affect and influence your passions and desires from the heart and what love means to you. As we grow our values, thoughts and desires change so does our meaning and desires for love. Perhaps this is why when we become victims during these ages we build walls around our hearts to protect these painful and hurt feelings. When we build these walls at such a young age when our minds and hearts are most receptive we become all the more victims of ourselves as we harbor and manifest these painful feelings over many years. Some people still harbor these pains, perhaps out of shame, guilt or feelings of being inadequate. What have we really done by performing emotional feelings? We have takenownership and become consumed by these feelings. How can you truthfully take ownership for pain someone has inflicted upon you, you didn’t do the actions or events nor were you deserving of these events. I am not saying it is wrong to have feelings but our ability to analyze and process these feelings and abusive events is severely jeopardized by our emotions and thought processes during different age brackets. Stay tuned…..