A Loving Heart


What is love? Are there dif­fer­ent types of love?  Love impacts dif­fer­ent depths of our hearts. Love for cer­tain foods or deserts. Can this be love? Love can be feel­ings of com­pan­ion­ship and inti­macy. There are many depths of love we expe­ri­ence. Sim­ple joy­ful love of cer­tain foods, music, nature, etc. The most desired heart feel­ings are love and inti­macy. Many of you are now ques­tion­ing why can’t I have these desired heart-felt feelings.Perhaps you are ques­tion­ing if some­one clos­est to you really loves or loved you.  Pas­sions in life derive from desires of love. How can feel­ings so deep-rooted in our hearts be described lit­er­ally? Well let’s attempt to touch the sur­face and get the thought process going……………….

  • Ages 1-5   We are able to feel/experience emo­tions but lack rea­son­ing abil­ity to ana­lyze emo­tions or con­se­quences of our emotions
  • Ages 6-12  These years pass with a blink of our eyes.  These are the ages we tend to idol­ize our par­ents or idol­ize friends par­ents or rela­tion­ships.  We seek accep­tance from our imme­di­ate fam­ily.  We seek honor, love, com­pas­sion and wor­thi­ness.  Yes we seek these all our lives but our most vul­ner­a­ble years are dur­ing this time and it can define our val­ues later in life or hin­der the val­ues we so des­per­ately seek.  Puberty, hor­monal changes and self-image come into play as we try to find our­selves through these changes.  Imag­ine if we don’t feel accepted by our fam­ily or have endured pain or abuse from our fam­ily how dev­as­tated we can become at this age!
  • Ages 13-16  Dur­ing these years we are very ana­lyt­i­cal and over ratio­nal­ize and ana­lyze events that have taken place or cur­rent events.  We may idol­ize “John” or “Sue” and want to “fit in” with peers and be accepted.  Social pres­sures in school, peer pres­sure, sex­ual exper­i­men­ta­tion, alco­hol, recre­ational drugs and all other social pres­sures become preva­lent.  We are try­ing to find our own iden­ti­ties and peer pres­sures and social pres­sures are over­whelm­ing.  Should any major life issues, abuse or chal­lenges occur we tend to turn to the social accep­tances even eas­ier.  These social pres­sures such as drugs, alco­hol and sex mask our prob­lems and tend to cre­ate more problems.
  • Ages 17-18  We tend to think we know every­thing.  We ques­tion those with author­ity.  We think we are adults or become rebellious.

Not every child will fall into these exact exam­ples but you may under­stand how impres­sion­able we are dur­ing dif­fer­ent age brack­ets and how will­ing we are towards expand­ing our thought processes.  Now imag­ine if you came from a sin­gle par­ent envi­ron­ment, abu­sive home, bul­lied in school or your first sex­ual expe­ri­ence left emo­tional scares and wounds. How does your age affect and influ­ence your pas­sions and desires from the heart and what love means to you.  As we grow our val­ues, thoughts and desires change so does our mean­ing and desires for love.  Per­haps this is why when we become vic­tims dur­ing these ages we build walls around our hearts to pro­tect these painful and hurt feel­ings.  When we build these walls at such a young age when our minds and hearts are most recep­tive we become all the more vic­tims of our­selves as we har­bor and man­i­fest these painful feel­ings over many years.  Some peo­ple still har­bor these pains, per­haps out of shame, guilt or feel­ings of being inad­e­quate.  What have we really done by per­form­ing emo­tional feel­ings?  We have takenown­er­ship and become con­sumed by these feel­ings.  How can you truth­fully take own­er­ship for pain some­one has inflicted upon you, you didn’t do the actions or events nor were you deserv­ing of these events. I am not say­ing it is wrong to have feel­ings but our abil­ity to ana­lyze and process these feel­ings and abu­sive events is severely jeop­ar­dized by our emo­tions and thought processes dur­ing dif­fer­ent age brack­ets. Stay tuned…..


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